Egg Remedy

My friend Katie's cat Freddie was really overweight and I was telling her that I think he needed to go on a diet. Suddenly the cat stood up on his hind legs and pointed at the ceiling with his front paw. Then he sort of fell backwards, and I thought he fainted, but turns out he was fine. Katie said the best way to help him was to sprinkle a hard-boiled egg on him, and so she did, the yolks and whites like confetti over him.

Drama in the 99 Cent Store

I was at the 99 cent store with Max and Michelle. I was showing them that you could buy multi-colored camis for 99 cents. There were some that were orange. At some point we separated, and a homeless man walked passed me coughing. I was looking at some products and I heard in the distance the homeless man still coughing. Then I heard some commotion and much louder, more dramatic coughing, and I gazed down the aisle and he had fallen in front of the cashier. He was on his back with his legs up. I thought I should call 911 but everyone was acting so casually that I thought maybe this guy came into the store and did this all the time. I started to get my phone out, and all of a sudden I saw Erika run over to him and start doing CPR. She was pumping him and blowing into his mouth and I was so disturbed that she was doing mouth-to-mouth because he seemed so dirty, but I was also mad at myself for not running up and doing the same. But then I convinced myself that he had a better chance of survival because she was a doctor. At some point I made eye contact with Gav, Erika's husband, who was standing nearby. Then Erika stood up and grabbed the homeless man's legs and shook him a little and I overheard her tell the clerk that he should have responded by now, and that she was sorry she wasn't able to save him. I couldn't believe this was happening. She went to the bathroom in the store to wash her hands. When she finally emerged I approached her. She was with another woman whom I thought I recognized from Erika's son's bar mitzvah but the woman said she was from the anxiety clinic in L.A. We all walked out to the parking lot and Erika was a little shaken and I kept telling her she did a good job.

Liar, Liar...

I was with Jen (sister) at a restaurant, which may have been the club at Mountaingate. I'd collected mail at Mom and Dad's house, and a bunch of envelopes were addressed to me. I opened one and it was from John Perry, the business manager. I began to read it out loud to Jen. It was written to Dad even thought the envelope was made out to me. It thanked him for supporting John on his career change, and move to another city. I was confused because I didn't know he'd moved. Then he wrote that he thought I was awesome (and he wrote "awesome" in big, bubble letters) but he had to tell Dad about the lie I'd been overheard saying. He said his friend was on a plane recently and overheard me talking to someone on that plane and he felt it was his duty to tell Dad. Jen was like, "Yeah, yeah...what was the lie?" I said I had no idea but maybe it had to do with Max. I couldn't remember what flights I'd been on recently but then remembered I'd gone to NY. There was another big page of the letter outlining the lie, and just as I was about to read it, I woke up!

Pinball Wizard

There was a common room/area in the building where I lived, and I'd bought a big pinball machine to keep there, though it was silent, so there were no bells or whistles, just the points adding up. Some neighbors said that they could hear other neighbors making noise through the walls, and I said that wasn't going to happen because this pinball machine didn't make noise. I kept playing and playing, accruing points. At one point a bunch of guys came into the common room, one in particular was cute, but had this weird, gnarled finger and not a wedding ring, but a weird sort of ring.. Some of the pinballs were actually limes at this point. Suddenly, I hit a bonus round with the lime, it was bouncing all over the place and it triggered a disc that then slipped into this one area and I was about to say out loud, "What now, an apparition is going to appear?" and all of a sudden a hologram appeared of a guy, maybe a superhero who rose out of the machine. All the guys were standing around in awe and kind of laughing but also kind of nervous. The hologram started talking and I said to the guys, "I'm so glad I'm not playing this alone, this would have totally freaked me out." A cheesy song started playing.

Oy!

I was at a pharmacy in Beverly Hills picking up a prescription. The pharmacist handed me a vial and inside was crushed white lice. He asked what I had been diagnosed with and I said I didn't know, I hadn't gone to the dr. yet, but I thought it might be a sinus infection. He said I couldn't get the lice until I went to the dr. so I set off to the dr. On my walk down Wilshire Blvd, a young, Haasidic boy grabbed the orange and white scarf I was wearing and started tugging on it, choking me. I told him to stop and said, "Who raised you? Your mother would be so mad," and he shrugged and kept pulling. Then I said, "God will be very mad," and he immediately let go and said, "God will be mad?" I kept walking. When I got to the dr. I told him I thought I had a sinus infection, and he said it wasn't sinus, it was a digestive disorder.

Odd Place for a Manicure/Doggy Day Care

I had just celebrated my birthday at some restaurant. Afterwards, a bunch of us sat outside on a grassy, hilly area. My friend Daniela was cutting my cuticles with a knife. She had some sort of method and was getting rid of the dead skin. My mom wanted to set Karyn up with someone she knew. Mark was there, too. 

In another dream, a neighbor I hated had a little dog that ran over to where I lived. There were tons of dogs in my home and I didn't quite know to whom they belonged. I chased the neighbor dog, and first because I wanted to catch it and then throw it back to the neighbor, but then I felt worried and protective, because of the other dogs. When I finally got it, I walked it over to the neighbor's house, which seemed so far away, but through my window seemed so close. The neighbor guy had a bunch of kids and everyone acted casual when I returned their dog.

Coaching the Show, In the Show

My friend Jen was performing at a storytelling show. I was coaching her over the phone. I think I was in Boston... not sure where she was. Later, she called me back for more advice and I was talking to her on the phone again. I said, "You don't have me on speaker-phone, do you?", and I heard an audience roar with laughter. "You guessed it," she said. So, she was doing her performance live, with me on the phone coaching her, but I had no idea. At first I was pissed, but then I relaxed. "Hi!" I called out over the phone to the audience, and everyone yelled back "Hi!" and laughed. There was some more banter and then I called out, "Buy Swimming Upstream, Slowly!" but I think I got the title wrong.

Pippin/Kitty

Was going to see the play Pippin again, but this time, along with my friend, I brought my cat, Percy. I remember thinking it wasn't the best idea. We were early, and there was nobody in the lobby so Percy jumped up on a chair, got comfy and fell asleep. I thought it was all well and good now, but once the crowds started entering, she was going to feel anxious. Then I worried that she'd meow so loudly that it would interrupt a song. I decided to put her back in my friend's car, but realized I needed to buy a crate for her to sit in while we watched the show. 

Fraud

Was at a college sponsored event, and some singer/magician was coming to perform. It was standing room only. Rumor was that Kate Bush was going to show up. The crowd was excited. I was in the front row, and when I leaned over to tell a friend I couldn't wait to see Kate Bush, she whispered that she knew for a fact it wasn't Kate who was opening.

Suddenly an announcement came over the speakers introducing the person. I didn't recognize her name but I watched as she wheeled out in a wheelchair. Meredith (a friend) who was also nearby ran out to the stage to help the wheelchair bound woman, and all of a sudden she pushed Meredith out of the way and stood up on her own and started dancing and heading to the microphone. It was all part of her act. 

Meredith was furious and ran out of the venue, and I could see through the windows that she was upset. The performer started playing the guitar, and through the windows I could see Meredith calling out for her mother.

Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?!

I was teaching and having to scream over all the talking. Two students brought babies into class, and others were doing their art in the middle of the table. I was trying to lecture on a reading assignment. Nobody was listening. 

One of the students stood and started packing up her stuff. She walked out the door but before she officially left, she said, "Ms. Clark? Could you remind me what's due next week? I have to leave early," and I said, "It's the midterm next week." She had tons of stuff she was carrying out of the room. One thing was so giant it looked like a body bag. She was Latina. As I was lecturing her about leaving early, another student, an older guy, came up to me. She left, and he started asking me questions about the students and asking why there were so many babies in class today, and I was getting really furious at all the noise and everyone misbehaving, and then he kissed me, and I said, "Y'know, that's just part of the misbehaving, you can't kiss me." I wasn't sure if the other students saw. 

Then I went back to the table and at the top of my voice yelled that they had to put everything away, all scissors, all colored paper, all art, everything. The guy who kissed me was on one side of me, and a girl was on the other. I picked up their hands and was going to make a joke about the unions, a la Sally Fields, but then the three of us started singing, "Can you hear the people sing..." from Les Miserables and we were marching in place, singing at the top of our lungs, and the guy leaned over and kissed my cheek, and I squeezed his hand and said, "You did it again..."

An Interesting Team of Dentists

Jenny McCarthy, Oprah Winfrey and policeman were my dentists. I had to have an emergency appointment. We weren't in a dental office, we were somewhere outdoors on Santa Monica Blvd. in West L.A. Jenny was scraping stuff off my teeth while Oprah acted as her assistant. At one point the policeman had to put those little foam tubes into my mouth. They were yellow and looked like ear plugs. I was gagging as he put them in. He was getting impatient. Oprah kept cheering me on. Jenny told me there was a patch of white on my bottom tooth that I'd have to get checked out by another dentist.

Bar Reunion

I was in the Oakland/Berkeley area having lunch with an old friend (Terry) from graduate school, when I thought I noticed another friend (Cathy). I finally realized it was her, just as I caught a glimpse of her son who was peering at me through the bar. He yelled at his mom, "I think I see your old roommate" and I stood up and joined Cathy around the corner of the bar. 

We hugged hello and it turned out she had 4 kids, all boys. The one who spotted me, joined us and was explaining how he recognized me. Slowly the other three came around. They were all really cute. Two were from her first marriage and two were from her second. One of them asked her to check his diaper, even though he was too old for a diaper. She went along with him anyway and pulled back his shorts. This seemed to be an inside joke because they were both laughing. 

We were trying to figure out the last time we spoke and I said something like, "You're not on 'the book'", meaning Facebook. She said life had been really hard and that she'd divorced her first husband and then eventually married again and had two more kids. She walked me back to the bar to meet her new husband. He was cute, young and friendly. We shook hands and then I walked back to the original area. I was telling her that maybe now was the time for our tv show that we'd come up with when we were roommates. I told her about a promo for a new show I'd seen called "Black-ish", and she agreed now might be the time.

Is This a Dream?

My sister was at my home, and I walked into the kitchen and there was cat food ALL over the floor. I couldn't understand how it got there and I was cleaning it up as she walked into the hall to ask what was going on. I said I was so perplexed and didn't know how all the cat food got on the floor and then I realized it might be a dream, so I said to her: "I think this is a dream!" and she reached her hand out to help me stand up and said, "If it's a dream, you won't feel my hand" and I didn't feel her hand and then I awoke!

The Tide is High

I was looking out on the beach and saw a giant wave form and crest, knocking a wedding off kilter. The bride and her bridesmaids were running up the beach to stay dry. Some of their friends were trying to move the tent, with dinner set up, to higher ground. 

The scene became more and more chaotic. The tide was really high and waves were now crashing into my home. I couldn't believe how aggressive they were. Water was getting all over my wood floors. Neighbors were going nuts. Someone started trying to put pieces of wood planks over the windows. There were tons of people in my apartment - some strangers, some neighbors, and some people from the wedding party. I noticed a gift box, probably for the wedding. There were trinkets in there as well as someone's passport. I decided to save it and I'd hopefully call the person once it subsided. Percy, the cat, was standing on her hind legs and meowing for me to pick her up. The waves kept coming.

It's Good to be the King

I was at some sort of reading. May have been for Michelle. She was there, as was Mel, Lois, Max, Kevin, etc. There was some sort of panel afterwards and Stephen King was on that. When that ended, Mr. King was sitting by himself in a corner, and I was talking to the gang. Kevin picked me up by my boots and carried me over to Stephen King, depositing me on his lap. One of my boots came off - it was carmel-colored and had a little heel. Stephen King said, "This is quite an introduction!" and he was laughing, but I was so embarrassed. I moved over to the empty chair next to him. We started talking and making each other laugh. At one point, someone from one of my classes came over to me and started talking about her work. It was insufferably boring. I finally interrupted her and said, "Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a conversation." King and I continued talking and then another student, a guy, came over and started yammering to me. This time, Stephen King excused himself and walked away. I was so mad. The guy finally shut up and I put my boot back on just as Stephen was coming back.

War and Grape Seed Oil

Was living somewhere other than L.A. Maybe Israel? I had just moved there and was unpacking boxes. A roommate and her mother came to the door and started unpacking their things when all of a sudden war planes were overhead and tons of tankers were driving by. It was so sudden and unsettling. The roommate said, "Now is the time that they are going to force us to consume only grape seed oil." I didn't understand. She clarified that too much of that oil can cause breast cancer and that's why they were forcing us to consume it. I was frustrated that I was so far from home and unable to speak to my parents. I kept thinking that I usually consumed olive oil so perhaps I wouldn't have so much grape seed oil in my system. 

Up, Up and Away

My friend Katie and I were flying to New York. In the middle of the flight, the plane lowered way down and seemed to be landing on mountains. I noticed there was a sort of roller coaster ramp that we were landing on. I assured Katie that I'd been on flights that have done this before. The plane landed for a little and then was gearing to take off again, but it wasn't gaining enough momentum to make it up the ramp. I kept repeating that it was going to be fine.

(side note: I've had this dream before, but not in years, and with different traveling companions)

Walking the Cat

Was walking my cat on a leash through an area of Westwood I'd never noticed before. It was full of lakes and bridges and greenery. As we walked over a bridge, the cat spotted something and leapt down a hill. It was a long leash, so I didn't lose her. 

At some point later on in our walk, a big German Shepherd spotted us and came bounding toward us. As it approached I said very sternly, "Sit!" and I think the cat said something to me like "Wow, you think that will work?" But it did. The dog sat. I looked at it's tags to see to whom it belonged and I asked the cat to pass me my cell phone so I could call the owner.

Plucking Plastic

I was at a beach party and there were little things poking out of my hands, the back of my palms, and as I plucked them out, they were long, toothpick-sized plastic and metal things. The more I plucked them, the more appeared. Some had blood on them. I kept standing them up in the sand. My friend Chrissy was nearby, sitting with friends. I called her over to see what was coming out of my hand. She said she'd look eventually. One of the pieces I plucked was bigger than the rest and had ornate paper cut-outs. When I got it out of my hand, I jostled it around a bit and found that it expanded into a paper lantern.

Baby in a Cereal Box?

I was visiting friends. The woman was feeding her newborn baby on her bed and the baby slipped down the bed, which was tilting at an angle. The mom caught the baby by the collar and we were all laughing about it. She continued feeding the baby and we were talking about what had just happened, when the baby slipped again, but this time out of sight. The husband and I were searching all over for the baby but could t find him. The mom kept saying "oh my god, the baby's dead, I killed the baby". I was beginning to think she was right and was starting to panic but then at the foot of the bed there was a cereal box and I grabbed it and shook it and all of a sudden the baby's head popped out confused but laughing.